Mister J's Living In Leather: How to Make Bleechers
Saturday, September 28, 2013
Picking out that SIR that makes you wetOkay so let’s just put it out there. Not every SIR is the right SIR for you. I was collared to a very nice SIR for about 6 years. When that relationship transitioned I took time to myself to figure out just what exactly I needed and wanted. It wasn’t for several months later that I found another SIR I was willing to submit to, who is great. When I’m on certain sites that the leather community frequents and see boys and girls begging to be collared. Some boys even go as far as to change their usernames to things like “CollarMeSir”. I have even seen a boy go too far and put his number on the website. Sometimes the best thing to do is to take your time, and not to worry about when the special SIR is going to come into your life. Yes I said “Wait” as the saying goes, “Good things happen to little boys who wait”.
To pick out the right SIR:
• envision what attributes you want in a SIR
• look at what personality traits best fits yours
• what characteristics do you have that you want to grow?
• what characteristics do you have that might be beneficial to a SIR?
Yes there are such things as boys who don’t live with their Sir, which is absolutely normal. PLEASE do not think that you are not a boy or you are less of a boy because you do not live with your SIR. Sometimes it’s best for both parties to feel out what kind of relationship can blossom from not living together at first. BASICALLY SLOW YOUR ROLE, do not get collar because you’re in a rush to have a SIR.
Yes there are such things as bad SIRS. I’ve seen abusive pseudo SIRS and SIRS that don’t know what they are doing. It can be very dangerous especially during play. Be very careful and make sure you have safe guards in place.
BOYS DO NOT DRINK THE KOOL-AID. There are several SIRS that “collect” boys just to say or have boys around; it doesn’t make sense for this to happen. Make sure that you analyze how the SIR works with his other boys. Sometimes SIRS can bite off more than they can chew and that is an honest mistake, if they are honest with themselves, that’s even better.
Now I will leave you with this:
boys Bill of Rights1. Every boy has the right to have his body, intellect, and emotions protected by his Dom.
2. Every boy has the right to choose the man whom he serves and to discontinue that service and take his leave without being subjected to physical, mental, or emotional abuse.
3. Every boy has the right to be cared for, disciplined appropriately, and allowed to feel pride in his submission.
4. Every boy has the right to protected sex if he so wishes.
5. Every boy has the right to privacy if he so wishes. No boy can be blackmailed, publicly humiliated, or physically coerced into service without his expressed desire to be so.
6. Every boy has the right to defend himself from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse.
7. Every boy has the right to consent or not to consent to sexual activities.
8. Every boy has the right to seek refuge, counsel, and advice from other subs and DOMS without the expectation of sex, money, or any other service in return.
9. Every boy has the right to a physically and emotionally available circle of friends.
10. Every boy has the right to protect his own possessions and finances against intercession, theft, and non-consensual acquisition.
SIRS: Please copy and paste this Bill of Rights into your online profiles if you wish to let subs know how you feel about their rights.
subs, boys, and pups: Please include the Bill in your online profiles and take a stand against abuse.
Link to story in The Leather Journal:
Mister J's Living In Leather: Mr. Maryland Leather 2010 (Justin Terry-Smith) Farewell Video
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
So I've decided to take my doctor's orders seriously. When it comes to HIV it is really important that one keeps their stress levels down and unfortunately it has been harder for me than not. I've decided to not let anything or anyone stress me out and if that mean cutting people out of my life completely or putting them in another category so be it. I also emphasize to always look after your own health. I've decided to go to bed earlier, drink less, and really try to quit smoking.
I had a situation where I accidentally made a mistake and was persecuted for it. The one person that I thought would believe me didn't and I got upset but this time it wasn't a normal upset. Some of the things that he said to me started making me have physical reactions. First I started to breathe irregularly, sweat and my chest started to hurt; I didn't know it at the time but I was having an anxiety attack. I was with friend's when this happened but I was clever enough to sequester myself in a room in the house because I didn't want anyone to see me at this time. After that moment I decided NO MORE STRESS.
So my son and I had a SPA/SHOPPING DAY and that was a great way to distress.
Even more recently there was a situation that happened at home with our son and I stayed calm and didn't fly off the handle:
My husband and I have a rule for the house that NOBODY is allowed to be in the house without permission or us being present. We both had Maryland Defense Force Drill last night when I get a phone call. It was another Foster Parent named Paula. Paula asked me if had seen her foster daughter Jade. (We noticed that whenever Jade and Londyn hang out together she badly influences him to stay out late when he is suppose to be home, hangs out at our house without her parents' permission etc.) I said to Paula, "No why?" "Jade said she was going over your house after school and I haven't seen her my husband even went to your house and knocked on the door and nobody answered" Keep in mind school is out at 2pm and it was about 7pm when I got the call. I immediately called my foster son Londyn. Londyn didn't pick up after me calling twice so I tried one more time. His butt picked up the phone before he did. His phone was in his back pocket and he didn't know it had picked up the call. I could hear Jade and Londyn in the background talking. I put it on speaker and l my husband listen to make I was not going paranoid. I then called back a 4th time and Londyn finally picked up the phone. "Hi Dad, how are you?" He sounded out of breathe I asked, "You sound like your outside what going on?" He said, "I was just walking Jade home" I said, "From where?" "The house" He replied. I said, "Okay You know you're not supposed to have anybody over when we are not there and without permission, you could've either called us or texted us to ask if Jade could come over, right?" He said, "Well yeah" "Okay I'm happy that you are ok and that you didn't lie about her being there, BUT you will be disciplined. When we got home the house was a mess. He is home today from school GUESS WHAT TIME TO CLEAN HOUSE, ROOM AND BATHROOM ESPECIALLY. Also the broken light will be coming out of his allowance AND NO X-BOX for a week. He is not allowed to hang out with Jade.
So I've decided to make a little list. It's like a Bucket List if you will
2) Bungee Jump
3) Become more active in HOPE DC
4) Climb a Mountain
5) Take more trips out of state alone
6) Horseback Riding alone
7) Indoor Wall Climbing
8) Act in an indie film/series or move short.
9) Camping for a weekend alone
10) Go on more spiritual retreats (Non-Christian Based)
11) Monthly SPA treatment
12) Be more serious about Yoga
This is short list and I will add to this after scratching some of them off as I go. I have to learn new ways and tools to calm myself down. I am a bit of a thrill seeker an adrenaline junkie and I now have to exercise that more than ever. It tends to relax me more often than not. It's what I call a good type of stress.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Mr. Maryland Leather 2010
Part I & II
Part I & II
This has been an exciting year for me. First I was awarded my Associate's Degree in Communications, then I got married, and I was given my first award for the activism work and community service that I have done with Justin's HIV Journal. But nothing could have prepared me for what was next to come.
On November 6th, 2009 I was Contestant #3 in the Mr. Maryland Leather 2010 contest.
That night we had the meet and greet for the contest, which is a relaxed atmosphere where all the contestants can be introduced to all who plan on attending the contest. The next day of the contest was a full day of categories: Interview (in which you are interviewed by a panel of judges); Bar Wear (what you would where at your home leather bar), 90-Second Speech in Formal Wear (about your platform) and Pecs & Personality (need I say more?). There were two other contestants, Yoshi and Charles. We became very close in just a few hours and made a bond.
We were the only three competing. There was tension between us, but not because of the reasons most people would think. The tension came from doing the best we could. It's really you against the scoreboard/sheet, not you against other people. The goal is to have fun; if there is no fun then there's no point to doing what we do as leathermen and community leaders. It's common for people to get along during leather contest. The camaraderie and friendship can last a lifetime.
In the beginning of the contest I was so nervous I didn't know what to do, so I just decided to be myself. After looking into the history of the contest and past title holders I felt like I was ready. I didn't know if I would be awarded the title; all I knew was to be myself and have fun doing it, and I did just that.
When all of the categories were over they had to announce who out of the three of us who would be awarded the Mr. Maryland Leather title. When they announced me as the recipient I was so in shock that I began to tear up. I didn't know what to say or do. This had to be one of the happiest times in my life.
Now that I'm Mr Maryland Leather 2010, I've met a lot of my class brothers. Class brothers are all of the men that I will be competing with, for International Mr. Leather (IML) 2010. I've bonded with them as well. Some of them I even knew before we were titleholders. My close friend Matt Bamford competed for Mr. MAL (Mid-Atlantic Leather). He was awarded the honor and I couldn't have been more proud. He and I are activists in the DC area.
There are also several others that are going to compete at IML in Chicago, Ill., with me. The youngest contestants I believe hail from Tampa, Fla. (Mr. Ybor Eagle) and Montreal (Mr. Montreal Leatherman). They're both 22. There are also many men of color contestants this year as well. Mr. Ybor Eagle 2010, Mr. DC Eagle 2010, Mr. Leatherman of Color 2010, Mr. Maryland Leather 2010 and Mr. New Jersey 2010 are all men of color and below the age of 37. That is definitely a change from the past contestants that have competed for the IML title. The face of the leather community is changing.
One of my platforms is to keep up the fight when it comes to HIV/AIDS. Activism can be an important part of the leather title if one chooses to use it as such. It all depends on what the person's platform is. My platform was already there even before I became a titleholder.
I've turned some of my attention to Pediatric AIDS. I decided that this would be a cause of mine because I've always loved children and wish to have some of my own someday. When I discovered that I was HIV positive, that is the first thing I thought about. Then I started crying. For someone like me it was a destructive thing to my being, to not be able to have any children. Of course there is sperm cleansing but that takes a lot of money, money I don't have. Adoption is also always an option. There are plenty of children that need good homes and one day hopefully one of those homes will be the home of me and my husband, Dr Philip B Terry-Smith. I also feel that most people have a choice of having unprotected and protected sex. When people have a choice they should always use protection. Children don't have that choice. I have a very soft spot in my heart for children, especially children living with HIV/AIDS.
So now, for me, I will keep on fighting -- especially for those who cannot fight, or for those voices that have been silenced by this terrible disease.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
This video was taken when the Senate voted to repeal the, “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell Policy”. That was on Saturday. Today on 12/22/10 President Barack Obama fulfilled a campaign promise that he now repealed DADT.
Don’t’ Ask Don’t Tell is the policy that restricts the United States military from efforts to discover or reveal closeted homosexual or bisexual servicemembers or applicants, while barring those who are openly gay, lesbian, or bisexual from military service.
DADT was introduced by then President Bill Clinton in 1993. At the time in the Department of Defense Directive 1332.14 stated, “that homosexuality is incompatible with military service and persons who engaged in homosexual acts or stated that they are homosexual or bisexual were discharged”
The full name of the policy at the time was "Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Don’t Pursue." The "Don’t Ask" provision mandates that military or appointed officials will not ask about or require members to reveal their sexual orientation. The "Don’t Tell" states that a member may be discharged for claiming to be a homosexual or bisexual or making a statement indicating a tendency towards or intent to engage in homosexual activities. The "Don’t Pursue" establishes what is minimally required for an investigation to be initiated. A "Don’t Harass" provision was added to the policy later. It ensures that the military will not allow harassment or violence against service members for any reason.
DADT was total bullshyt. I AM A GAY AIRFORCE VETERAN. I hated not being able to put a rainbow sticker on my car. I’m damn proud of who I was and am. When I was in the military several personnel knew I was gay, and guess what THEY DIDN’T GIVE A RATS @$$. BUT in basic training I was the target of harassment, sexual harassment. In basic training we all had our own beds and one of my jobs was to go past each bed and collect used hangers from each person. There was a particular group of young men that I would have to go past everyday. One of them shouted, “You got a lot of your mother in you, don’t you?” I didn’t know what that meant at all. They continued to snicker as I would walk by everyday. Then one day when I thought everyone left the barracks I had to be there alone cleaning up because I had missed drill, and as punishment I had to clean. Two men from the group previously mentioned came into the barracks and began to taunt me and grope me. I DID NOT LIKE IT. I couldn’t tell anyone about what happened because I was fearful about getting kicked out of the military. It went on for a week and I remained silent.
DADT is gone THANK YOU MR. PRESIDENT and CONGRESS.
If I could go back in the military I would.